A long time ago I took a course on the sociology of marriage and my professor said “With compromise, you both lose. As a couple, you must collaborate on the best possible outcome.” Ever since, I never prioritize compromise in a relationship, only collaboration.
this seems like a great concept and all but. what does it actually mean?
Compromise is typically thought of as a 50/50 split amongst partner’s needs. They’re both left partially unsatisfied, but this dissatisfaction is deemed acceptable because it is ‘equal.’ However, with additional effort, many problems may be solved through collaboration; keywords: additional effort.
In collaborating, one may try to make the conflict more complex in order to expand the possible positive outcomes. This requires trust in both parties, empathy, and consideration for one another’s needs.
The objective should shift from getting what you want and ‘keeping things quiet’ to making sure your partner feels heard and considered (as they should do with you). Essentially, you must trust that your partner has your happiness in mind, and you must have theirs, instead of fighting for your own best interest.
For further explanation, Google “compromise vs collaboration.”
